


I Know You Better

by CaityCat



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Fluff, Game Shows, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Newlyweds game, Spock has some Emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7603027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaityCat/pseuds/CaityCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The people of Twilar are a newly warp-capable species that has caught the eye of the Federation for more reasons beyond its planets' deep, untouched mines and strategic placement along the border of the neutral zone. The Federation wants Twilar as an ally, but the people of Twilar have a very specific criteria for what makes a leadership team functional.</p>
<p>When Kirk and Spock make First Contact, they are immediately thrown into a globally broadcasted questionnaire competition which will decide whether of not the Twilar join the Federation.</p>
<p>Or, alternatively, Spock and Kirk play a high stakes version of The Newlywed Game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know You Better

Spock is across the room from his captain, on a stage that puts him above the heads of the rest of his crew. Jim Kirk stands exactly ten feet and three inches to his right, well beyond reach but strategically within eyesight.

They are both standing behind podiums that could have come from a 1990s Terran game show. Not that Spock had ever seen such shows, but Jim apparently had. He had found this set-up too amusing. Spock had found it ridiculous. This entire situation was illogical and unnecessary. Under no circumstances prior to this very instance had two Starfleet officials had to play a part in a foreign species' television show in order to prove themselves.

The Twilar believed that leadership teams, especially important leaders, were to be a seamless unit. He and the captain were meant to be so in tune, they knew everything about each other and could guess the other's thoughts at a moment's notice.

It was an impractical and impossible ideal.

And yet, here they were. He and James Tiberius Kirk were competing in a game show that would ''prove'' how well they knew each other and acted as a command team.

It was improper for a Vulcan to feel embarrassment, but in the back of his mind, Spock quietly hoped his father never watched these holos.

“We're going live in three minutes.” The Twilar behind the camera says. For a warp-capable society, they are much less inclined to use holo-projectors than one would suspect. They prefer big, bulky cameras that could not doubt be improved upon technologically.

Spock does not feel the compulsory human need to judge each experience he comes across as satisfactory or not on a personal level.... but he does not like this planet. Their waste of resources is, quite frankly, uncomfortable. For such a technologically advanced race, they seem to have no concept of using energy, time, or matter effectively. They live mostly by tradition or what ''looks cool''. It is the single most infuriating place Spock has ever visited.

Not that he feels infuriated, because that would be too intense an emotion for his perfect Vulcan control.

“Are you sure you won't cheat? We've been told of the Vulcan mind-magics. If this competition is falsified, we will look at the Federation as enemies.” The host of the broadcast is a tall, willowy Twilar female named Xneenai. Her skin is gray and glistens with a quality that looks almost wet, like the rest of her people. She is apparently considered beautiful among her race and many more, but Jim told Spock and Bones privately that looking at the the Twilar made him think of corpses.

Spock is not inclined to disagree. “My telepathy is limited through touch alone, and even then any specific words or phrases would have to be gleaned by a deeper meld.”

“Spock wouldn't cheat anyways. Vulcans can't lie, and cheating is basically lying.” Jim speaks up from across the room. His voice sounds different when channeled through the sound system the Twilar use. It is similar to their universal translators, but instead of a robotic voice translating Jim's words, it simply chooses a Twilar voice that sounds similar in intonation.

It is completely unnecessary.

Spock really does not like this planet.

The silvery Twilar male holding the camera starts a countdown, and then bright lights are forcing Spock to employ the use to his secondary eyelid to keep his eyes from watering. Across the stage, Jim blinks rapidly and rubs his eyes.

They are introduced to their audience, which Spock has been told is most of the planet, and then Xneenai is gesturing behind them, to where a hologram crops up. It is currently blank, but Xneenai explains that the questions will pop up there, along with a timer.

78 ticks. Approximately 20 Terran seconds.

Xneenai turns her misty lavender eyes on him, and declares that he will have to answer the questions the first round.

Spock breathes deeply through his nose just once to maintain control, unsure of why this entire thing is so unsettling.

Then the first question swirls into position on the screen, and he remembers. These are all meant to be highly personal, emotion-based questions that, logically, are completely irrelevant to leading a Starship together.

**Who is Captain James Tiberius Kirk's Closest Companion, and How Did They Meet?**

The timer has already started, and so Spock wastes no time in writing, carefully and neatly, across the PADD before him. When he is finished, he silently presses the button to his right so that the timer stops.

Jim is squirming across the stage. He looks nervous, but only to those who know him well. The Twilar will probably assume he is excited, because he has kept his Paparazzi Smile in place.

They show their answers.

In Jim's loopy, quick writing, “ _Bones_ ” is scrawled, and then crossed out and replaced with “ _Leonard McCoy_.” This is followed by a fairly detailed story of said doctor throwing up on him on a shuttlecraft on the way to Starfleet Academy.

Spock had not known about the vomit, but he has written: _Jim Kirk's closest companion would be Leonard H. McCoy, whom he refers to as “Bones”. They became acquainted on a shuttlecraft out of Iowa, where they were seated together on the way to Starfleet Academy._

Jim squints at his answer and then beams as he finishes reading, nodding at Spock as if to say “Good job.”

The audience laughs at the story and Xneenai plays it up, going so far as to broadcast McCoy's face on another screen. The doctor is seated in the audience and as soon as he sees his own face on screen, he flushes. The audience laughs again.

“Next question!” Xneenai cheers, and Spock has to mentally remind himself that her bared teeth are not a threat.

The next three questions are harmless. When prompted, Spock answers _six,_ and lists all the languages Jim can speak. He knows Jim's birthday (January 4, 2233 or Stardate 2233.04), and he knows Jim's father's name. Those last two seemed simpler, more common knowledge. Everyone knows Jim's father, and they know of his death. It was almost insulting to think Spock wouldn't know the answer.

He is beginning to release the tension that rests unseen in the middle of his back, thinking that the rest of the questions would be as harmless. As it is, the pattern continues.

**What Is His Favorite Food?**

This really does not have anything to do with running a starship together, of that much Spock is sure. But he is also confident in his answer as he writes it smoothly. _The captain is fond of most foods, so long as they could not be quantified as a Terran salad. However, he expresses fondness when he is allowed to eat Terran hamburgers, as well as pepperoni and cheese pizza._

Kirk holds up his PADD, which reads in large letters _BURGERS._ He reads over Spock's answer, and even from the distance Spock can see his expression soften to one of surprise, and maybe even happiness.

He has a perfect score so far, and the audience loves it.

**What Is His Favorite Color?**

Spock blinks at the question, the only outwardly sign of his settling discomfort. He realizes that he doesn't know.

The timer beeps, and he holds up a blank PADD.

Jim's reads _Blue._

Jim looks at the PADD, cheeks flushed for reasons Spock cannot fathom, and then Jim's eyes flick up at Spock's face in shock. Spock feels a strange stirring in his side as he realized he disappointed him.

That Jim's disappointment makes him more uncomfortable than losing one of the three strikes which would not only break the deal between the Federation and Twilar but also in which rested the balance of the lives of his fellow crew members should speak volumes, but it doesn't.

“Oh, shucks.” Xneenai says, breaking the staring contest going on between Spock and Kirk. “What a sad, silly way to end round one. But that's okay, Mr. Spock! You've got two strikes left! We'll be back right after we break, with Captain Kirk answering the questions in round two!”

Spock and Jim hurry off the stage, and Jim claps his shoulder. “Don't worry about it. It's a trivial thing, doesn't really matter. I don't think I was even really sure what my favorite color was until I wrote it down, 'kay?”

Spock inclines his head. “I was not worrying.”

Jim looks at him for a minute and then smirks, “Okay, sure. God, now it's gonna be my turn, huh? How'd you know all that stuff about me? I mean, birthday and stuff, yeah, but the languages?”

“I have read your files.” Spock says, and then after a moment, adds, “Also, sometimes, you murmur in your sleep. I have heard three Klingon dialects specifically, and the knowledge of your skills in Betazoid, Orion and Tellarite languages is fairly common knowledge.”

“You did _not_ just tell Jim he talks in his sleep.” McCoy says by way of greeting. “Nope, shut your mouth! Don't wanna know!” He shakes a finger in Jim's face to accent his words.

“Away missions, Bones. Get your mind out of the gutter.” Jim laughs, swatting the hand away. “So? How we lookin'?”

“It's a good thing the questions so far are simple. You two are really walking a tightrope here.” McCoy looks at Spock, “I don't blame you about the color thing, Spock. And I'm real glad you knew all that crap about Jim.” He side-eyes his friend suddenly, “Although I ain't real sure you needed to tell them I _threw up on you_ , kid.”

Jim smiles innocently, an expression better suited to young children than a starship captain nearing thirty years old, but they are called back on stage before either McCoy or Spock could call him out on it.

Spock does not sigh, but it is a near thing.

…

The next round goes like this:

Spock is surprised (he doesn't show it but for the quick twitch of one eyebrow, but Jim knows) because Jim can spell out his full name in Standard letters and the Vulcan alphabet.

Jim knows Spock's mother's name was Amanda, knows Nyota Uhura was Spock's last kiss (but he probably doesn't know that it was six months ago), and his shoe size. All trivial facts that Jim apparently has no trouble answering.

It is when the questions regarding emotion come up that Jim begins to look anxious.

**What Is Spock's Favorite Earth Holiday?**

Spock writes Christmas.

Jim writes, _It's illogical to have a favorite._

And just like that Jim realizes that he and Spock might not know each other as well as he thought.

**\--**

Jim feels awful. It's one thing not to know someone's favorite color, but it's another thing entirely not to know that they like Christmas. That's kind of a big deal, and now that he thinks about it he remembers Spock not putting up any fuss when he talked about throwing a Christmas party last year.

Spock told him Valentine's Day was illogical, but he hadn't said a negative thing about Christmas. Jim was genius, he could have pieced it together.

Spock doesn't look offended, but he doesn't look much of anything. From across the stage, Jim can't pick up the subtle body language clues Spock gives off. He shakes his head, and says “Sorry, Spock,” out loud.

Jim sees Spock shake his head. “There is nothing to apologize for. You are correct. It is illogical.” Spock must sense that Jim still feels bad, because he tacks on, “I find that Christmas is the least illogical of all human holidays.”

The audience laughs, and the game keeps going, but there is a new tension now that they are each down to two errors.

“Let's move on to round three! Both of you will get questions, and you'd better be careful! The questions have gotten a little harder to answer!”

Jim doesn't want to hear that. He came into this game feeling cocky, but he isn't sure he wants to get all deep and personal with an entire planet.

“First question!”

**For Spock: What Is James Kirk's Favorite Word in Vulcan?**

Jim winces. Spock stares at the question, both eyebrows inching higher, and Jim bites his lip as he scrawls out two answers.

He doesn't speak Vulcan. Spock knows that.

He also knows that Jim picked up a couple words from him. Enough to have a favorite, but Spock probably doesn't know that.

Spock writes something down, and Jim raises his PADD when the buzzer plays.

_Shok._ Jim's PADD reads, and then _Vitaya._

The tension as he lifts his PADD, simultaneously with Spock, is palpable even to the Twilar. Everyone seems to be holding their breath.

Spock's PADD says _vitaya._

Jim lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and grins at Spock from across the stage.

“Lovely! I am pleased that you answered correctly. Care to translate for the rest of us?” Xneenai asks Spock cheerfully.

“Vitaya means... stalemate, or impasse. It is a word I taught the Captain during chess.” Spock replies. To Jim's trained ear, he sounds just as relieved as Jim is.

“And _shok?_ What does that mean?”

“It means kiss.” Jim offers, and Xneenai makes a trilling sound that is kind of like a coo, he suspects. He doesn't want to think about it.

“And did Spock teach you that word too?” Xneenai asks, poking fun.

Jim curses himself silently as his cheeks flare up red. “Nope! No, I learned that one on my own.”

Jim tries not to look at Spock and fails, but the next question saves him from having time to ponder the fact that Spock was looking back.

**For Kirk: What is Spock's least favorite memory?**

What the hell?

“What the hell?” Jim says out loud immediately after thinking it. “That's... kinda abrupt and uncomfortable, don't you think?”

“Leadership isn't all fun and games.” Xneenai says solemnly, and Jim stares at her like she's grown another head.

“Your ticks are running out!” Xneenai says quickly, and Jim curses before scratching a single word on his PADD.

_Vulcan._

When Jim holds up his PADD, Spock stills. Spock doesn't really fidget or squirm anyways, but he somehow manages to go even more still when he reads what is written on Jim's PADD. His own remains angled in such a way that Jim can't see it. Xneenai can't either, apparently, because she prompts him to lift it up.

It takes two prompts. That's when Jim knows something is wrong, because Spock never needs to hear an order twice. He could be bleeding out all over the floor and still try and follow protocol.

Jim stares as Spock turns his PADD around. It does not say Vulcan.

_Watching Jim die is the worst memory I possess._

Then Spock sets his PADD down on his podium and turns around, walking off the stage. Xneenai calls for commercial. Jim remains rooted in one spot, but then he watches the blue of Spock's shirt become shrouded in shadows and before he knows it he's moving, running across the stage.

“Spock!” He shouts, “Spock, wait!”

Spock stops, back straight and stiff. His shoulders are too sharply aligned, even for him. He doesn't turn around, and Jim reaches out to touch him and then stops. “Spock... I... that question was out of line. I'll ask them to stick with something less--”

“I did not even think of Vulcan.” Spock says suddenly, interrupting. He says the words over his shoulder, not turning around but turning his head slightly, so Jim can see the line of his jaw and the way his eyes are closed.

Jim falls silent, mouth open but no words coming out. He didn't know what to say to that.

“When I thought of the thing most painful to me, it was watching you die on the other side of the glass and being powerless to stop it. It was the aftermath, where I lost control so completely I would have beaten a man to death with my hands alone.” Spock turns around slowly, and his eyes open. They are dark and haunted. “It was the way your eyes grew distant and I could not feel your hand through the glass, but I could feel your fear. I did not think of Vulcan when they asked that question, Jim. I thought of you.”

Jim feels hot, skin prickling. “I... Spock...”

“My control is compromised. I would request a break for seventeen minutes--”

Jim reaches out and grabs his arm as Spock begins to move away. “Spock. You can't feel guilty about--”

“They were my people.” Spock says, his voice softer and broken. Jim thinks he has never heard him emotional like this, but he knows he has. There was just glass between them to muffle it. “She was my mother. Yet they did not cross my mind.”

“But clearly you miss her. You mourn her.” Jim grabs Spock tighter, pulls him a step closer. “Spock, you aren't a bad person because the destruction of your planet didn't immediately jump to your mind. I died more recently, it makes sense for that to be the first thing you think of."

“You thought of Vulcan.”

Jim's jaw flexes. “Who cares?” He shakes Spock's arm. “Listen to me. All the bad shit in your head isn't competing for a spotlight. It doesn't matter what you said. The death or your planet, or me dying.... those are both terrible, horrible things. If you had more time, you would have said your planet, probably, okay? You know that. But both made you emotional. It's not your fault one popped up in that Vulcan head of yours instead of the other. Okay?”

Spock stares at him. “I was unaware you did not understand the depths of my regard for you, Jim.”

Jim stares back. “What?”

“The way you are treating this situation suggests that you believe I would never put your death first in any kind of negative scale of emotional reaction, but that is untrue.” Spock pulls his arm from Jim's slack hand, “I always put you first. That is why I am emotionally compromised.”

Jim gapes, probably unattractively, because what just happened?? “Spock?”

“I am in--”

“Hi! Sorry to interrupt, but it's time to restart the show. Are you ready?” The way Xneenai says it, it is clear she expects them to come back whether they are ready or not.

“Can we just, can we get a few minutes--” Jim tries, but Xneenai does her species' equivalent of frowning, which involves quite a few teeth. Spock moves past.

“I am sufficiently in control for the last round, Captain.” He says, sounding stone cold once again. Jim could get whiplash from this sort of thing.

He follows Spock back on stage, where the lights blind him from the crowd. He thinks he can make out the outlines of Uhura and Bones, sitting together in the front row. He can't read their expressions, but knows they're concerned.

He's concerned too. This is all getting out of hand.

“Ready for your next question? Here we go!” Xneenai cheers, either oblivious to the tension or ignoring it.

**If Jim Kirk Could Take Back One Thing He Said, What Would It Be?**

For a moment, Jim doesn't even know the answer to the question. He guesses this is going to be another one that Spock gets wrong, so it doesn't matter what he really writes. It's all too personal anyways, nobody would know he was lying...

But then a memory comes to him sharp and fast, and he knows he can't lie because he should have said this ages ago.

He barely manages to write it down before the buzzer goes off.

Spock's PADD reads _The Captain rarely says what he does not mean. However it is probable he might regret firing our chief engineer, Mr. Scott, two years ago._

Jim does regret that, so Spock does know him pretty well. But that is not what he wrote.

_I should never have said Spock didn't love his mother, or any of that stuff. I needed him angry but that was too far._

Spock's eyebrows rise again, and Jim shrugs like it doesn't mean as much as it really does.

They both have two strikes. They're playing a dangerous game here. There are four more questions, and they have to get them all right.

**Has Spock Ever Cheated On a Mate?**

Jim laughs, possibly too hard, because what is this question? What business does it have coming after two as serious as the ones before. He doesn't even have to think about it when he writes _no_ and his answer matches Spock's perfectly.

Ridiculous.

**Where is Jim Kirk's Favorite Place To Be?**

Jim thinks about Iowa. He thinks about the fields of corn and wheat, and the endless grass plains that he used to race cars down. He thinks about the bar that always smelled like lemons, where he earned enough money for the gasoline that fueled his old bike, and the wrinkled kind faces of the people that lived there. He thinks about growing up miles from the shipyard, being close enough to see the lights at night and growing up in its shadow in more ways than one.

And then he thinks about his ship, his silver lady. He thinks about the way even Bones had stopped complaining the first time they climbed through the black sky towards her in their shuttle. He thinks about the way the senior crew aboard the Enterprise runs their hands along her belly the last night before any long mission. He thinks about the way she's been broken and beaten and come back shinier than ever. He thinks about dying in her heart.

He thinks there's really no competition at all, and writes down his answer.

Spock's PADD reads _The Enterprise._

Jim's matches his perfectly. He smiles, and Spock's mouth twitches just slightly. Jim realizes his answer might not have been the same if his ship had been filled with different people.

This game has cut too deep.

“Oooh, the final two questions. Will they get it right, you think?” Xneenai asks the rhetorical question to the audience, but they all roar in response of the affirmative. Even the skeptical Twilar in the audience cheer.

Jim sweats, and he thanks Starfleet for the material of his uniform for the first time ever. It may rip away easily (it doesn't, that's just him), but at least it doesn't show sweat.

–

Spock's mental barriers and control are very, very thinly spread. It is hard to think emotionally, while retaining stoic discipline of his body.

The instant he realized he should have written Vulcan had been a heavy blow. He did not understand how he had picked anything other than Vulcan dying before his eyes.

But he did understand. Lying to oneself is still lying, and Vulcans did not lie. There was only one logical explanation as to how James Tiberius Kirk had managed to so profoundly compromise him emotionally.

Sarek had told him, silently, in mourning, of the only being to ever unsettle him the way the Captain unsettled Spock. Her name had been Amanda Grayson.

Spock was in love with James T. Kirk.

He took the conclusion in stride, panicking briefly and then accepting it during the three point eight minutes they had when he'd attempted to flee the stage, and was now prepared to continue answer questions.

He focused on the holographic projection, awaiting the next question as Xneenai played with the audience.

**What was the last thing you both argued about?**

Spock can recall every conversation he's ever had with the Captain perfectly. The only chance of discrepancy in their answers is whether or not Jim will consider the conversation about their answers an argument.

Under most definitions, it was. They disagreed about a point and spoke of it. However, whether the Captain thinks of it that way...

Spock shouldn't double guess himself. He writes down _We were in disagreement about the meaning of the answers I gave before I departed the stage._

Jim has written _Spock shouldn't feel guilty for not choosing Vulcan as his answer to the question._

Jim smiles again. Always smiling. Spock can remember twenty four different types of smiles Jim has offered him alone, on an innumerable number of occasion.

He is getting distracted. There is one more question, and they must answer it correctly.

**What makes James Tiberius Kirk a good captain?**

This, Spock thinks, is what most of the questions should have been like. If the Twilar were concerned about the state of leadership the Federation supports, they should have been focused solely on that. There was no need for their personal lives to be brought to attention.

The planet is nosy. Spock does not like it.

Despite his initial satisfaction with the question, Spock finds it hard to answer. His written answer is, therefore, perhaps too long. It is better to be thorough and hope something matches up with Jim than to be brief and insufficient, however.

Jim's PADD simply reads _I bend the rules enough to make a difference._

Spock's is longer.

_James Kirk is an exceptionally talented captain in many regards. He is highly intelligent, clever, and possess remarkable situational awareness. If possible, he gains even better insight and leadership skills under pressure. He is inspiring to the crew, and cares for everyone he comes into contact with. Despite difficulties he has proven to be remarkably diplomatic. This is most likely because of his inexplicable ability to get away with violating minor procedures in ways that not only save lives. Including my own._

He had nearly run out of space on his PADD. Jim is staring at him like he's never heard any of it before, but that's impossible. Spock had heard half of these things told to him by Admiral Pike, and he is near positive that McCoy has offered his opinion as well.

It does not explain the look of baffled pleasure written across Jim's face.

“You did it! That's all the questions we have!” Xneenai clapped her seven-fingered hands, and the crowds went wild again. She gestured, and Spock and Jim moved around their podiums to stand on either side. “Never has a leadership team made it this far! We are most impressed! Oh, and that's a call from High Queen Naiiim coming in! I'll be right back.”

Jim looks out at the crowds, waving and smiling his press smile again. However, when he speaks it is low and out the corner of his mouth. Spock can only believe the words are meant for him. “Don't take this the wrong way, but I want to kiss you right now.”

Silently, Spock takes a step closer so their arms brush. Obscured by their bodies, Spock allows his fingers to brush across the hand Jim isn't waving about but has instead let rest at his side. Jim stiffens.

“Do not take this the wrong way,” Spock says, just as low and without moving his lips much, “But I have just kissed you.”

Jim beams at him, and Spock can now, with pleasure, say that he's seen twenty-five different smiles from his captain.

He should have expected Jim to kiss him on the cheek, but he didn't. The tips of his ears turn green.

The crowds love it, Dr. McCoy loves it less, but they have a hell of a time explaining it to Starfleet when they get an angry call, hours later, back on the ship.

Jim is simply lucky the angle his viewscreen allows does not show his bed.

 


End file.
